“I just opened my eyes”

serenity prayer 1
serenity prayer 1

“I just opened my eyes”

I DO believe in the Law Of Attraction, as I do believe that it works, even by default, so its very important for all of us to up the anti and heighten our own self awareness and belief to make ourselves happier and hopefully our World a better place, if not for us but those to come.

Why? Self-Development of course!!

Well, an area I’m really passionate about is Personal development. In this, I mean emotional and spiritual development.

I suppose as I am in recovery from alcohol this would be something that would have attracted my attention when I first got into recovery.

In the beginning:

Starry night 2
Starry night 2

God or the Universe in all perfection, created each and every one of us as a completely unique being. In other words WHO you are, is exactly WHO you are meant to be.

You were created “In God’s image”, by the ultimate high good. End of case……but…….then why are we so desperate and constantly trying to improve on creation.

Devine Perfection:

If you take a look at nature, everything fits, everything is perfect and works as it should be. Nature is fine-tuned and works like clockwork, every Ying has its Yang, up has its down and North has its South.

You couldn’t match it and you couldn’t improve on it, no matter how advanced science gets. Whenever I watch David Attenborough on BBC I am always in awe just at the beauty and power of nature and how it just works.

Having lived in Zambia I saw nature at work with my own eyes, and I can never tire watching an African sunset.


I know this heading goes against the title, though we are a part of nature, and I always wonder if God, or whoever created us, knew exactly how we as a species would turn out, would they have even bothered.

We have done more damage to this planet than any other species, the term parasite comes to mind.

Is trying to better ourselves leading us and the planet to our doom, the evidence is there, just look at Climate change, Global warming, Extinctions on the increase……..the list goes on.


The Universe though is all about balance, what you put out is what you get back.

Awareness and Global consciousness are on the increase, despite the insanity and chaos of our modern societies, and I believe it is part of our evolution as a species, it has to be.

We cannot continue down the path we are going and as we are growth seeking beings, lying down and dying is just not an option to us.

Fight or flight is instinct and we all have it and have a desire to survive, if not I’m sure that nature will step in and make the necessary changes, as the planet also wants to survive.


Spirituality 1
Spirituality 1

You & I are “Spiritual beings having a human experience” and are inherently good.

No baby was ever born bad or evil, babies are pure Love. We came from a state of pure love, so it’s not a strange concept to return to that state.

You don’t have to die first either to experience this Unconditional Love, we all have it and feel it.


As I mentioned already, you & I are growth seeking beings thus we are constantly evolving like the whole planet is.

This is not a physical evolution or a mental one, but a conscious one. Our awareness of self and everything around us is expanding.

Spirituality has been around for as long as mankind so it’s not a new concept, though it’s not religion or dogma either.

Society has been controlled throughout its whole history and still is, but independent thinking is on the rise and with this people are beginning to take a look at themselves, not in a bad way, but looking at the potential each and every one of us has internally.

We have been led by society for so long that we have all been made to think inside the box and conform, or else….


Throughout history, there have been enlightened people, Lao Tzu, Buddha, Jesus Christ, Mohammad, and countless prophets, saints and sages.

These people enlightened their followers at the time but more so now in the 21st Century. Many during their time were persecuted and even put to death for their enlightenment, ironically it was due to their untimely deaths that we still follow their messages today, or they might have vanished into obscurity.

When I read or hear of their enlightened messages, they are all for our own good and for our own growth. Some of these writings are thousands of years old, had society back then embraced Taoism, or teachings of Buddha or the Gospels then could society have been different today?

Could you imagine if meditation was the first subject in school, or self-acceptance and development where key subjects like Maths and English?

Blame & Excuses:

super thumb

Society does blame and make excuses for everything. It is always someone or something else’s fault. “I can’t because…..” you fill in the space. “If they/ my situation changes, then I will”. “It’s far too hard”.

You & I have it all wrong, we have got it back to front and lived by that mantra for so long, that it is engrained in society. Just look at politics, one big blame game and when things go wrong it is always the other guy.


Aspiring to change the World and everything around you will just lead to extreme frustration and just won’t work. It never has and never will.

The only people who got other people to do things that they didn’t want to, were dictators and bullies.

If you want to change you have to start with yourself first. You have to look within and not nitpick on what’s wrong with you, (society has done an excellent job at doing that), but what is right with you.


All good, said and done, but every ancient teacher, prophet, saint, and sage did just this. They didn’t have supernatural powers, just incredible inner belief, and faith in themselves and even the goodness and potential of mankind in their hearts. If their lives where so enlightened, then why not just enjoy it, why did they go out and write and preach this enlightenment?

You can’t keep it unless you give it away. That is the message and that is the gift. If you are selfish and greedy, yes you might get financially rich, but you will never feel content or happy and your value will be on what you have, not who you are.  


Instant gratification is what today’s society tells us, to see it, to want it, to have it, NOW.

We have become insatiable creatures with very little gratitude for what we have. You look at a child, he sees an add on TV for a new toy, he nags you until you get it for him, then a day later he has forgotten about it. Sounds familiar, we all do it and the advertising industry know this, that’s why we are bombarded with ads telling us that if we don’t have their product we are incomplete.

On the other hand, fear is used to manipulate us, Lies and bullshit. Happiness is and always has been an inside job and you & I are responsible for our own happiness. We do not need anyone else to make us happy, but we do need help to get us there.

Conscious Awareness

You & I are blessed in the 21st Century that we have free speech and freedom of thought as there are hundreds of modern day self-help guru’s with thousands of different methods to enable self-enlightenment.

Although many of the approaches are different they all have the same common theme: to help us look at ourselves and unlock the immense potential that we have within us. To make us better, happier people, isn’t that what everyone wants, no matter what the method is.

Law Of Attraction

My personal favorite is the Law Of Attraction or as some know it as the “Secret”. It is a very simple and powerful ideology “What you put out is what you get back”, but very hard to consistently do.

It takes a lot of persistence and patience, but with action, it does work. I will be writing more about this Law in further blogs, as like you I’m also on this journey and will be on it for the rest of my life.

It’s not the destination, but the journey that is enlightening.

To Sum Up

Everyone has dreams and we all do want to better our lives in one way or another, so it is important to start to put those dreams into reality by creating achievable goals which can be reached in time.  although I had dreams, I wasn’t aware of creating goals and my life unfolded by default.

It turned out well for me, but had I had clear goals, I do feel that it would have been even better, and it still can…..


Call to Action
Call to Action

I do try to learn from my mistakes, and that is why they are little miracles in themselves that happen for a reason. I am a growth seeking being I will continue to seek change in myself. What motivates me is the Pain – Pleasure, which moves me away from my pain points (a lack of finances, time & peace of mind) to my pleasure points (freedom of finances, time & peace of mind). The way I have found to achieve this freedom and to move away from the “Groundhog Day” of life is through on line marketing. I have taken this step into the abyss, I’m not tech savvy at all, and with the support of SFM, I am working my way through it. The internet is here to stay and is the future for all of us, so don’t get left behind because it is gaining momentum. If you want to learn what I am learning and are in a point in your life where you want to change, then I offer you, through my mentors, a no obligation FREE 7 day video series to watch.

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“Blame and Excuses”

Pointing the finger

Blame and Excuses

“Passing the buck” is a learned behavior, linked to our fight or flight response, which does eventually develop into a habit over time. As kids, we used to blame and made excuses as a defense mechanism, so as not to get into trouble when we had been naughty or done something wrong. The rest so to say is history.

Excuses blog 1
Excuses blog 1

Hi there it’s Dermot again, I found myself going down this road lately, fault finding, blaming and making every excuse under the sun. The worst thing is that I wasn’t fully aware that I was doing this, but I did feel out of sorts. I downloaded Mel Robbins’ Kick-Ass, audiobook, for some subconscious reason and she did just that: Kick my Ass.

Excuses blog 3
Excuses blog 3

Well now as I am awakening and have reigned in a lot of the “poor me”,” give up”,” never again”, “I can’t do it, it’s too hard”, “it’s all their fault”, “why me…….” Thought processes, and do feel better for it. I’ve taken on board the tactic of naming my negativity “Diana”, which is a name my sister gave me as a child whenever I was crying or went running to my mummy. I hated that name and it was the first of many nasty nicknames I had in my life. So when I catch myself starting to head down the road of  “blame and excuses”, all I say to myself is “Shut the F**k up Diana”, & it works.

Let’s look at “blame and excuses”. An excuse is just a blame justification, for example: “I can’t do online marketing as I am not tech savvy”. I’ve used this a thousand times, every time I get overwhelmed or am confronted with a technical difficulty. It’s a great cop out and initially, yes I’m emotionally frustrated with my computer, the internet etcetera, then I feel justified that it is too hard and only a genius or geek could do it. Then in a short period of time, my feelings change to a bit of guilt, and silliness as I know that once my tantrum is over, it is actually something that can be learned and it is doable if I ask for help. When I do figure it out, I think “What was all the fuss about anyway” Fight or flight is over, adrenaline has settled and end I up laughing.

That process can take as short as 5 minutes or might last longer, where the overwhelm gets too much and I turn off the computer, quite aggressively. But during it, my emotions can spike, on many a night my wife has been looking at me quite perplexed whilst I’m trying to develop a website and says to me “whatever you are doing stop it as it is turning you into an irritable grump”. She is right as I do get irritated and it becomes everything and everyone else’s fault, even her. “Calm the F***K down Diana”, is what I need to say to myself.

Responsibility Blog 2
Responsibility Blog 2

When things go wrong or not to our liking the last thing any of us want to do is to take responsibility.


Because we don’t want to face the consequences or take the blame.


Because we are afraid.

Because from a young age, we knew that when we did wrong we were punished for it. So it was a lot easier to blame others or make an excuse for it. When we were kids we used such excuses like “The dog ate my homework”, “It was the boy next door”, “I didn’t see it”, this progressed in adulthood to “The traffic was terrible”, “I had a flat tire”, “The train was delayed”, and so on and so forth. We all have our own examples. If you have become co-dependent like me, taking responsibility can be very fearful at first and is always preceded by massive self-doubt.

We normally make these excuses to avoid judgment, but they do not make anyone feel good as they are a lie, in most cases.

When blaming becomes a full-blown habit, you might not even be aware that you are doing it.

For example, you are driving down the road and you hit a speed hump. Straight away you blame the speed hump and how can anybody be so stupid to put a speed hump there, then you blame the council for that.  It would be a lot easier just to say, I should have been looking where I was going and slowed down. But no, we only do that on reflection after the event. Our initial reaction is to immediately find fault, to try our best to justify our own negligence and even make sense of it.

Only someone who is really enlightened will admit at the time and say, I should have been paying more attention. The legal industry makes a living out of our need to blame and point fingers.

Another example is politics. Watch any session of parliament on TV, and that’s all it is, blame, blame & excuses. No one is willing to take responsibility.

“Blame and excuses” are a cop out, but it’s not that you get away scot free. When you blame and don’t take responsibility it actually makes you physically weaker and you stay in the victim role. It has the same effect as lying.

Blame inflates your ego, with “I’m never wrong, I’m always right” attitude. That was the same attitude many despots and dictators have and had. Then when the Poor Me’s get involved you end up blaming yourself “I never get anything right, it’s all my fault” Woe is me!!

So what do we do now?


Responsibility Blog 3

Take ownership: of everything and keep doing it, even when you are not at fault, take responsibility: My son told a little lie the last day, which I ended up being blamed for. I could have scolded him for lying, but I thought, why get him into trouble and it was only a little white lie and wasn’t important.

Let go: of things that are not that important, really ask yourself, is it worth all the agro just so you can justify yourself.

Don’t take yourself or anyone else too seriously: Life is too short to hold silly resentments.

You will still be confronted with the trials of life, but look at each trial as a challenge, an experience a part of this wonderful journey we call life.

Be a survivor.

Tony Robbins says to change the Metaphor, it is as simple as that, just be consistent.

I have found working on the web has been a huge challenge for me as it has taken me right outside of my comfort zone and slam dunked me into what was one of my biggest fears – The internet. I still get overwhelmed with the amount of info to take in, but rather than lose the head and blame, take responsibility and ask for help. At the end of the day, the internet is only a thing, as is my laptop.

For anyone who is prone to blame and make excuses, just remember, it is fear based and you are its victim, It’s time to break free and do something that challenges you. Online marketing will definitely do that for you and it’s a damn site less risky than Bunge jumping.

Call to Action
Call to Action

I do try to learn from my mistakes, and that is why they are little miracles in themselves that happen for a reason. I am a growth seeking being I will continue to seek change in myself. What motivates me is the Pain – Pleasure, which moves me away from my pain points (a lack of finances, time & peace of mind) to my pleasure points (freedom of finances, time & peace of mind). The way I have found to achieve this freedom and to move away from the “Groundhog Day” of life is through on line marketing. I have taken this step into the abyss, I’m not tech savvy at all, and with the support of SFM, I am working my way through it. The internet is here to stay and is the future for all of us, so don’t get left behind because it is gaining momentum. If you want to learn what I am learning and are in a point in your life where you want to change, then I offer you, through my mentors, a no obligation FREE 7 day video series to watch.

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How to Let Go in Life

Photo by Gianandrea Villa on Unsplash

How to Let Go in Life.

I always remember a scene in “The Life Of Brian”, where The crowd thinks Brian is the Messiah. He eventually gets pissed off with them and tells them to “F — k Off”. They in turn reply “How do we F — k Off Messiah”

Every time I think of letting go, I think of that scene.


When I was first told to let go, my very first question was How?, Followed by “let go of what?”. For me the whole concept of “letting go” was absurd. I had started rehab from alcohol and everywhere I looked I saw slogans: “Let go, Let God” The AA old timers would say “Let it go, son, let it go”

I was ready to scream “Let WHAT go?” “What the hell are you on about”?.

“That’s it”, I was told, “Let go of the hell”.

I began to have my A-ha moments, did they mean the pain?. I thought they meant to let go of my desire to drink, which I didn’t have after my last one.

A lot of people in recovery and self-improvement movements would encourage you to let go of the past, which makes total sense as not doing so or be willing to do so, will only inhibit you from moving forward. But we resist!!


We are creatures of habit and change of any kind is hard, for 2 reasons:

  1. Comfort Zone — no matter how dysfunctional your life may be, it is what you know and what you are familiar with.
  2. Acceptance- No one wants to admit that they have a dysfunctional life. Many emotions get in the way, like pride and shame.

So, in that case, you might as well stay put. But what inspires people to want to change, to want to let go of the pain.

Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash

The pain of staying stuck.

Deep down, everyone wants to better their lives, everyone wants to be happier. Face it life can be hard, and if it wasn’t so, why would you want to change it.

Our past haunts us

Memories can make you or break you and you cannot choose what you want to remember, as memories are stored in the subconscious. What we can choose is what memories we want to keep and those we want to forget.

Get rid of the pain by rewriting your story.

We are emotional beings and all thoughts have an emotional attachment, either good or bad, happy or sad. If you have made it this far in life, then you are a survivor and cannot play the victim role anymore.(fact)

It doesn’t really matter how you got here anymore as we all did the best we could, even if it was a total train wreck. Let go of the pain YOU give yourself by judging yourself for your own past and blaming people and circumstances that helped shape your life.

They are now gone and cannot hurt you anymore, unless you continue to let them.

Let go of the pain and the bad memories will soon disappear.

Photo by Cristina Gottardi on Unsplash

Letting go isn’t about sitting about praying, doing mantras or saying “Om”

Letting go is getting in touch with the things that really hurt you in the past, that need to be accepted, loved, and released. It’s a journey rather than a destination.

Letting go takes action, as you have to be willing to list all your pains, both done to you and what you have done. In AA they call these Step 4 “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves” and Step 5 “ “Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs” You have to get down to the nitty gritty and be willing to leave no stone unturned, and no skeletons in the closet. Although associated with the 12 Step Movement, anyone can do a 4th & 5th step. Do you have the courage to do so?

Raw Honesty and Naked Vulnerability.

When you get brutally honest and are willing to be completely vulnerable and make your life confession, then you are in a position to truly let go of your past and all your troubled emotions.

To talk out your life story it is best that you find someone you trust, who will not judge you, or console you, but will listen with empathy.

You will be & feel as free as a bird afterwards.

Holding onto your past is like carrying a rucksack full of stones, for the rest of your life.


The next step is to forgive. Forgive YOURSELF first, as you have been your own worst critic, and Forgive everyone and everything that hurt you in life. How long do you do this? Until you no longer feel any emotional pain. So if it takes a life time, so be it.

Nature abhors a vacuum.

As you let (sh)it go, you have to replace all those limited beliefs with positive Re enforcing beliefs about yourself. Do this until you truly believe. How?

Affirmations, gratitude and appreciation, heightening your self awareness, challenging self defeating and negative thoughts, feeling & behaviors.

You are Worth It!

At the end of the day You have every right to be on this planet. You are not a mistake, so go forth and live the best life you can live. It’s all up to YOU.

If you would like to add to this article or leave a comment, please do so in response or on my website

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Call to Action

To Sum Up

Content Marketing is a prime example of how to practice consistency, patience, learn tolerance, be consistent and persistent. It is a great self-learning.

I do try to learn from my mistakes, and that is why they are little miracles in themselves that happen for a reason.

I am a growth-seeking being I will continue to seek change in myself. What motivates me is the Pain – Pleasure, which moves me away from my pain points (a lack of finances, time & peace of mind) to my pleasure points (freedom of finances, time & peace of mind).

The way I have found to achieve this freedom and to move away from the “Groundhog Day” of life is through online marketing.

I have taken this step into the abyss, I’m not tech savvy at all, and with the support of Six Figure Mentors-SFM, I am working my way through it.

The internet is here to stay and is the future for all of us, so don’t get left behind because it is gaining momentum.

Now Affiliate Marketing might not be for everyone, but my suggestion to you is to just watch the 7-day video series by the co-founders, Stuart & Jay, and decide from there.

The video series is free, very interesting and will show you, at least, just what opportunities are available online. I’ll leave you to decide.

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Six Figure Mentors

I wish you a happy day, Take Care.

Thank You for Your time

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Just how consistent do you think you are?

Just how consistent do you think you are?


When I used to hear the word consistency, I used to feel guilty, as consistent, I wasn’t, or was I?

In this article, I will look at just what consistency means to me, in my life and also in content creation.

If you are creating content, or are thinking about it, then I hope you might find this informative, I have also added links to other articles on consistency.

Continue reading “Just how consistent do you think you are?”
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Thank You Mr Anthony Robbins

Thank You Mr Anthony Robbins

Hi there, it’s Dermot here again with my weekly tip…

I am in the process of reading Tony Robbins’ book “Awaken The Giant Within”, and yes it is a long read and I’m taking my time. (By the way, I’m not being paid by Tony to promote this book). It is an old book, however, I am finding amazing nuggets of information along the way which are proving to be priceless.

I will share one: “Metaphors”.

I’ve been following self-development gurus now for years, especially The Law Of Attraction authors, like Wayne Dyer, Bob Proctor, Abraham Hicks to name but a few. The message is a similar one throughout “Change your thoughts, behavior & feelings”, or that is how I’ve been interpreting it. I have meditated and prayed and meditated some more, but my life hasn’t really changed, or has it?

It Takes Action

I was always under a subconscious level belief, being the co-dependant that I am, that if the other person changed first, then that meant whatever I was doing was working. So I waited, I meditated, I waited and meditated………..Nothing much was happening, the other person was exactly the same?!? No change

Now in Tony’s book, I came across a chapter on Metaphors. To be honest I never really knew what a metaphor was, or never practiced them. I came to see, that yes, maybe I really do need to change, rather than be willing, meditating and praying for the other person to change first.

Doing things differently

Aha, this might just work. My old metaphor towards my wife was “Why is she ALWAYS putting me down”. Now as I dwelt on this thought, my blood would boil, I would be pissed off for the whole day and full of blame “There she goes again, ruining my day again” Being co-dependant, I rarely argued back, but just internalized it. Now and again I would get defensive and tried to justify myself, but I’d only make a complete twit of myself, as I knew she was right, it was just the way she came across.

This was a self-defeating prophecy or cycle in our house, every morning before we all went our separate ways to work. 

Eyes Wide Open

When I read the metaphor chapter, the penny dropped with a bang, my eyes opened WIDE and I had an epiphany. What if I were to change my metaphor?! So I did, and now my new metaphor is “Why is she ALWAYS putting me right”. It is absolutely amazing just how powerful words are when put in the right context. Do you know what?

It works, my wife yes, still has her say, but it is how I now perceive what she sais and how. I used to be on the defensive, awaiting an attack, and guess what, it came, I wasn’t proven wrong. Now I don’t, the emotional intensity is gone, I don’t feel the urge to react, I agree with her and accept responsibility and I don’t let my ego get in the way and make me feel hurt. 

I changed and due to this, so did she. Now don’t get me wrong, we still have our disagreements and odd argument, but then who doesn’t, however, mornings are an absolute pleasure now compared to the past.

I have to laugh now at just how simple everything is and just how complicated we are. In hindsight, I came to see that all the self-help books I had read throughout the years had exactly the same message & I just didn’t see it. Change yourself first irrespective of others.

I was so used to being pampered by self-motivation, be kind and good to myself material, that it took Tony “Massive Action” Robbins, to come along & make me kick my own butt and actually take action.

New Attitude

Now, I have taken this attitude, thought pattern and behavior further in other areas of my life. I am learning to say NO to people, especially at work. I am challenging people more effectively and standing by my convictions and I have changed my metaphor, mantra as I now call it, from “I Can’t” to “I am going to” or “It won’t work” to “I’ll make it happen”. It is a working progress, but then so is everything in life, but boy it feels great to feel good about myself and my abilities, rather than feel like a failure and be full of fear.

This new boost of self-confidence has also encouraged me to continue to pursue a passion of mine, Online Marketing. I had started it a few months ago, but I again used the negative metaphor “No one is supporting me on this” to “I am my own person and will persevere with or without support”. Guess what? I am getting the support now from my wife, more than I was and she has even agreed for me go to a workshop in London. Wow!! I almost gave up my fledgling online business, but now I am invigorated again.

Call to Action
Call to Action

Now if you are like me and have a massive desire to change your life for the better, then do as Tony Robbin’s does “Take Massive Action”, and believe me, you will start to see a shift in yourself. I had seen Tony Robbin’s on Youtube in the past and I always thought he was very loud, in your face and even aggressive. He reminded me more of a WWF wrestler than a motivation coach. It was through my signing up with SFM (The Six Figure Mentors), that I came to read his book, and boy my perceptions have changed as he is a very wise person.

To Sum Up

Now Affiliate Marketing might not be for everyone, but my suggestion to you is to just watch the 7-day video series by the co-founders, Stuart & Jay, and decide from there. The video series is free, very interesting and will show you, at least, just what opportunities are available online. I’ll leave you to decide.
I wish you a happy day, Take Care.

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F#@K The Destination, Enjoy the Journey!!

Feck the destination,

Enjoy the journey!!

“Are we there yet, are we there yet?”.

I’m sure we’ve all heard this one, if it’s not from one of your own kids, you’ve seen it on TV.

Yes, kids are impatient and get bored, but that’s just kids, or is it?

Those kids grow up and we are now those kids, now tell me, even though you might not say it, do you think it: “Are we there yet, are we there yet?”. I know that I do, and it is not just on long car journeys, it’s on the greatest journey of all, Our lives!!.

It’s the Destination that counts

We have become a “focus on the goal only” society, and in themselves, there is nothing wrong with having goals, it’s how we become so focused on the goals that we tend to miss everything else along the way.

I drove to work today and my focus was getting there on time, ask me what I might have seen along the way and I honestly could not recall that, as the only thing on my mind, besides my goal of getting to work on time, was the slow car in front of me who had the audacity to be on the road in the first place!!. 

I completed my goal and I got to work, yes the car in front did delay me, but I got there. Next goal……

If you want to see if you are journey or goal oriented, find a park bench, sit down and watch the World go by. Time yourself just to see how long it takes before you become restless or agitated. (About 5 minutes is about average)

I remember when I was a kid and I’m talking about 40 years ago (yikes), my sisters & I used to lie on the roof of our house on a clear night and watch the stars for hours. It was a bonus if you spotted a satellite. If I were to do that today, I’d probably be bored in minutes.

What has changed?

My theory is that we’ve have become even more complicated as a species than ever before, we have become dependent on “stuff” to entertain us, amuse us, occupy us.

Wifi & Social Media have taken over and are now so predominant in the average household, that it is not an unusual scene to see a family sitting together in their living room, all on smartphones, tablets or laptops, TV on (background noise these days), and NO ONE is talking to each other.

It has come to the stage that we will communicate online with someone we barely know, on the other side of the World, but will struggle to have a conversation with our own family member(s) sitting in the same room. 

It’s a sad reflection that we can’t even sit with our own thoughts and feelings anymore!! (Park bench) & many of our kids today don’t know how to play “cops & robbers” or other outdoor games. 

Why is this?

Instant Gratification – I myself have been a perpetrator of this, I could say the victim, but I am responsible for me.

So going back to the title of this article, Feck The Destination, Enjoy the journey!!, I have been so engrossed in achieving the end goal, that I have missed out what is happening along the way.

I have been so engrossed in getting there, never mind the how or why that I’ve missed the journey by being so desperate for everything NOW, and being impatient to wait or follow the process.

King Baby Syndrome

We live in a society that encourages us and even enables us to have everything that we want NOW.

  • Want something now -get a credit card or loan.
  • Want to get fit – high intensive training or steroids.
  • Want to lose weight – crash diets.
  • Want to feel good – drugs and alcohol.
  • Want sales – market aggressively.
  • Want instant outcomes – stringent goals & very long working hours.

“I want it and I want it NOW”. 

Nothing is sustained anymore and when you run out or get fed up and stop, everything reverts back to or even worse than it was before.

  • Credit cards and loans have to be repaid.
  • Lost weight is gained.
  • Addiction is a consequence of longterm alcohol & drug abuse.
  • Sales come and go.
  • Goals are achieved and immediately reset causing employees to burnout. 

I’ve been there, done it and worn the T-shirt, I’m still no richer, no thinner, no fitter, no more successful, but despite all that, did I enjoy the journey to get there?

To be honest, I can’t really remember, as I was so busy focusing on what I wanted, I forgot about the how and why.

“It didn’t happen fast enough for me, so I gave up anyway.”

The Solution

For every problem, there is a solution. I am a strong believer in this, as most problems are man-made, so if we created them, we can fix them.

“Nothing comes from nothing” it goes against all universal laws. “You have to give to get back”

If you want anything to work for you, you do need to get a balance in all things.

  1. Have a Goal, something you would want to do and are PASSIONATE about.
  2. Make it as SPECIFIC, MEASURABLE, ACHIEVABLE, REALISTIC and as TIMELY as you can. For e.g: “I will lose one stone in weight by Christmas Eve, by eating fat-free grilled or boiled food and a portion of fruit or veg with each meal 3 times a day, no snacking. Exercising for 30 minutes in the morning as soon as I awake & 30 minutes in the evening, after my dinner. Attending a gym class twice a week on Mondays @ 6p.m. and Fridays @7p.m. ” If you just say, “I want to lose a stone weight by Christmas”, can you really see yourself doing it?
  3. By setting a goal, you can monitor your progress along the way (journey). Doing this, if you are sticking to your goal, will give you the incentive to continue.
  4. Once you have achieved your goal, you will feel fantastic. Now you need to maintain that goal by making a new goal to help you maintain your new weight. e.g. I will maintain my current weight of 14 stone, by sticking to a healthy regular diet, eating 3 meals a day, no snacking. Exercising for 30 minutes in the morning when I get up and 30 minutes after dinner. Going to the gym class on Mondays ‘ 6.p.m & Fridays @ 7p.m. 
  5. Creating a Goal does take persistence, consistency, and commitment. and it takes a lot of patience and time to come to fruition.

Getting it now is not sustainable but in and over time it is and pursuing that journey can be more fulfilling as achieving the goal itself.

Call to Action
Call to Action

To Sum Up

Content Marketing is a prime example of how to practice patience, learn tolerance, be consistent and persistent. It is a great self-learning.

I do try to learn from my mistakes, and that is why they are little miracles in themselves that happen for a reason.

I am a growth-seeking being I will continue to seek change in myself. What motivates me is the Pain – Pleasure, which moves me away from my pain points (a lack of finances, time & peace of mind) to my pleasure points (freedom of finances, time & peace of mind).

The way I have found to achieve this freedom and to move away from the “Groundhog Day” of life is through online marketing.

I have taken this step into the abyss, I’m not tech savvy at all, and with the support of Six Figure Mentors-SFM, I am working my way through it.

The internet is here to stay and is the future for all of us, so don’t get left behind because it is gaining momentum.

Now Affiliate Marketing might not be for everyone, but my suggestion to you is to just watch the 7-day video series by the co-founders, Stuart & Jay, and decide from there.

The video series is free, very interesting and will show you, at least, just what opportunities are available online. I’ll leave you to decide.

I wish you a happy day, Take Care.

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Six Figure Mentors
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Don’t Let your inner skeptic shut you down

Where are you now?

Are you skeptical to start something new, for fear of failure? If you are in recovery from addiction, fear (F—k, Everything And Run), of uncertainty would have been paralysing. But now you are in a position to face your fear (Face Everything And Rise) and grow. Like the Papa Roach song.

The Skeptic

I am in the process of building a website for my blogs and boy it is very frustrating (for me). When I’m hit with all these technical challenges, my own self esteem drops to the floor, I feel useless and I become the biggest skeptic. No matter what technical help that is out there, my own self belief shuts down and I don’t take on any advice.

All that goes through my mind is: “I can’t, it won’t work, I’m too stupid, it doesn’t work”.

Then my thoughts turn to my peers and I think: “They get it as they are tech savvy, they have money to burn, they had a better education, they were born with silver spoons”

And when I look at the mentors/ marketing companies, I think: “They made it look easy and it’s not, its all a marketing ploy, they only want my money, it’s a scam”

The Process

I know I’m sounding very negative here, but don’t let your inner skeptic shut you down. This can and does happen to a lot of new marketers, even more so, to people in early recovery. It may not feel comfortable now, but it does pass. Take every day as it comes.

All of the above are Problems.

 As recovering alcoholics/addicts, What did we do with problems?, we dwelt on them & what did that do? Only made you feel worse & when you felt worse, what where you most likely to do? Blame everybody & everything, use every excuse in the book, give up, justify that & relapse. How did you feel when that happened? Like total Shit!!!!

Well folks, it is exactly the same concept, but If you have survived addiction and are in recovery then building, a website should be a piece of piss, when you think about it, you are a survivor not a victim.

Instant Gratification

As an alcoholic, I do internalise everything, so when things don’t work the way I think they should & now (Instant Gratification), it’s because I don’t deserve it – Poor Me!!!. I’m 15 years in recovery and still have these moments, or I wouldn’t be blogging about it..

Self Sabotage

BS. That is what it is, self sabotage in the most cruel way. Do you know that if I was 10% as hateful to my worst enemy, than I am to myself at times I wouldn’t put up with it & probably be in jail. But I do and so do we all. We are horrible to ourselves and that is why we feel negative about ourselves and our abilities so much. It is not about a website or anything else for that matter, including your addiction. It is about you and the way you treat yourself. Be kinder to yourself, especially when you are struggling on-line.

Every problem has a Solution

When you dwell on a problem you stay stuck in the problem and are incapable of seeing a way out from it. This leads you to become problem focused. Unfortunately a good portion of our planet is problem focused. This does become habitual and you go from one problem to the next. If you want to test this for yourself, just watch the evening News, then when its over, ask yourself how you feel? I guarantee you it’s not positive.

Fortunately, like any habit, this can be changed

Once you are aware of it. How?  By changing yourself. Don’t watch the news, that’s a start and then challenge every negative thought & feeling that comes your way. Easier said than done, yes, but it can be done, if you chose to. Let go of the negative problems & embrace the positive solutions. Now if you are in a 12 Step Fellowship, you will be doing this anyway.

Solution focused

Solution focused, doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to find a solution to every problem, but it does make you more open minded to the possibility that problems do have solutions, some in your control and others that you are powerless over. You know the serenity prayer: God Grant Me The Serenity To Accept The Things I Cannot Change, Courage To Change The Things I Can & The Wisdom To Know The Difference”. Note the key words: Serenity, Acceptance, Courage & Wisdom.

If you are in recovery then you are already practicing serenity, acceptance, courage and wisdom and if you are doing that, how can you be a skeptic ?!!!.

In Context

You are probably thinking, what has this to do with on line marketing? Well in context, everything. Life is life, no matter what you do and how you handle it, in life, is what is important. I know that in a month’s time, I will still probably be fighting with my website or some other on line issue, but running away is not an option for me anymore. In fact taking on this challenge of affiliate marketing has been beneficial for my recovery as it has given me a passion and new goals in life. If you can allow yourself with an open heart and mind to know that every problem does have a solution (including the problems you are powerless over) then there will always be light at the end of your tunnel.

Call to Action
Call to Action

To Sum up

If you want a challenge in life, get a taste of an affiliate marketing laptop lifestyle, then I invite you to click this link, watch the 7 Day FREE video series and let my mentors, Jay & Stuart talk you through the A to Z of SFM and how affiliate & internet marketing works.

Hope to see you on the other side.

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Don’t Waste Your Time

Hi there, its Dermot here again, How are you all this week?

Don’t Waste Your Time


As the title says, “Don’t Waste Your Time”. Now time is the most precious resource that we have and we cannot afford to waste any of it.

Time is our most precious resource
Time is our most precious resource

Online Time

Now in the context of this blog, the time I am talking about is “online time”, or time that you have spare or assigned to all things internet related. Have you ever found yourself getting totally absorbed by the internet and before you know it, hours have passed and it’s 1:00 a.m. and you should be in your bed?

When you look back, ask yourself how much have you done or achieved or did you just spend your time aimlessly browsing the web?

Before I was introduced to online marketing, I used to spend at least 3 – 4 hours a day, playing games, looking at Gmail, Facebook & Youtube, quite easily. So when I first signed up to an affiliate programme, I thought that I’d have plenty of time to build my online business as well as being a parent to young children, a husband and working a 40+ hour week.


I set aside 20 hours a week minimum as a goal, for my online work. Great in theory, not so in reality. Life is life and it is not straightforward, especially when you have a family, a full-time job and other commitments.

  • My family takes my first priority, as I feel blessed to have them, so that is my choice.
  • My job helps to pay the bills and keep my family so that also has to take priority and for the moment, as much as I wish differently, have to be held on to.
  • Other commitments, tend to get in the way, as always they are here and now, urgent and have to be sorted.
  • Finally, my fledgling online business falls in last, although it is my passion and I want it to be my future.

Sometimes, that makes me feel resentful and frustrated, as I want to progress in my online business, but feel that I can’t due to all my other commitments. I sometimes wish I could escape somewhere just to get on with it. When I feel like this I then tend to……


Research says that we spend at least 3 hours of every working day procrastinating. When, like me, you are struggling to find the time, its a frightening thought to think that 3 precious hours are spent doing nothing or thinking about doing something, and doing nothing and then due to this feeling very anxious because we are doing nothing. Sucks don’t it. 

What to do now?

Well, the main thing is not to give up, and I won’t, as I’ve come to accept that this is a long-term investment and it will have to take as long as it takes. Having faith, staying committed, perseverance, focus and patience are all character building attributes, which go a long way in building character. This is the ongoing value that I am experiencing on my online journey, so even though I am not earning or making a living yet, I am pushing my own boundaries and comfort zone.

My mentors did say, time again that ironically, what a laptop lifestyle would give you: Time, money and freedom, it will initially take away from you as that is what you will have to sacrifice to get it up and running.

Keep calm & carry on
Keep Calm

Be in it for the long haul

We live in a society where instant gratification is an expectation, not a welcome reward. “We want it and we want it now” But remember anything new does take time to learn and implement and you have to give that time, time. However, you have to also learn to balance that time well with everything. I’ve seen people who have:

  • Jumped into online marketing, full swing and spent every last minute at it.
  • It has paid off for some, but might not be sustainable. “Easy come easy go”.
  • The majority have become disheartened as they haven’t begun to see the results as fast as they expected and given up.
  • It’s not about what you can get, but what you can give. You need a mindset and attitude adjustment, that does take time to do.
  • Enjoy the journey
  • Never allow yourself to feel guilty, if you feel you are not doing enough
  • Above all, focus on what you have achieved and not on what you have yet to do. Looking up the mountain will only cause overwhelm.
  • Do not compare yourself to other people, everyone’s journey is different and unique to them. I did this in the beginning and almost gave up due to it.
  • If a person is ahead of you, don’t feel envy, but ask for help. You will be surprised at just how helpful online communities are. 
  • We all have value to give.

Don't Give Up

Spend your time well

At the end of the day, we only do get one life, one crack at the whip, there is no dress rehearsal here so its best to make the most of it. We can’t stop it, we can’t go back and we daren’t fast forward it. I am sure we can all be agreed on this? 

  • Live life to the fullest and don’t waste your time worrying about superficial stuff that in the bigger scheme of things, means nothing.
  • Laugh, Love & Live.
  • Spend as much time with loved ones, especially your family and kids as you can.
  • Do things that excite you, live to the fullest.
  • Non of us know when it could end, don’t die with regrets, or “With the music still in you” (Wayne Dyer)
  • Steve Jobs, final words sum up life’s preciousness so beautifully 
Call to Action
Call to Action

To Sum Up

Now Affiliate Marketing might not be for everyone, but my suggestion to you is to just watch the 7-day video series by the co-founders, Stuart & Jay, and decide from there. The video series is free, very interesting and will show you, at least, just what opportunities are available online. I’ll leave you to decide.
I wish you a happy day, Take Care.

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Too much month at the end of the money.

Empty wallet image
Empty wallet image

“Too much month at the end of the money”.

Hi there it’s Dermot here, Do you find yourself in the same predicament, when living costs outstretch your income, even if you are working a full-time job?

I don’t know about you but I found that during the economic downturn, especially between 2008 and 2016, the cost of living was reasonably cheap and I was one of the fortunate ones who held onto a job.

What’s going on?

Economic downturn image
Economic downturn image

Since 2016, I have found that my Euro doesn’t go as far as it did during the recession. I had a small pay increase and small income tax cuts over the past couple of years, but that still isn’t enough now. I noticed it this year, especially getting the kids sorted for school, the uniforms, books, bus fees all seemed to cost far more than last year.

Will work for food?

work for food images
work for food images

Both myself and my wife work, I work full-time 40hrs and she works 28hrs, but between the 2 of us, we barely manage to financially scrape by each month. By no means are we extravagant, neither of us drinks or smoke and we rarely go out. We have 2 young boys, age 8&5, and spend most of our free time with them. Our whole family is reasonably low maintenance.

So Why?

It’s those eternal bills: mortgage, phone, internet, TV, car & credit card payments, utilities, groceries, taxes, insurances, and extracurricular activities for the kids. They all add up.

No, I could ask for a pay rise?

Not going to happen for either of us, she works in the public sector and I work in Community. We are both professionals but in low paying jobs. We get pay adjustments, in accordance with inflation, but what you gain in pay you lose in taxes and increases in the cost of living anyway. Unless you are in a good trade union, everyone seems to be working paycheck to paycheck these days, are you?

Get a new job?

Yes, that is possible but the pay would not be that much better and then there is the commute and possible working away from home and paying rent for a flat. Not worth the cost, time or even hassle.

Then what?

Up-skill!. In my line of work, I have to up-skill anyway as it is a requirement, but upskilling is no guarantee either or promotions or pay increases.

So I was doodling online one day looking for something and I came upon an ad in YouTube for affiliate marketing.

What is that I wondered?

e learning images
e learning images

Curiosity and impulsivity got the better of my skeptical head and I entered my email address. I liked what I saw, and this seemed to be a way out of my painful financial woes. I would consider myself a skeptic of many things, especially “Get rich quick schemes”, we’ve all seen the ads online, on TV and even sent to our phones now. I normally can’t wait to hit the skip button on YouTube.

Now, I’m not at all technically minded and even struggle writing this blog, but I saw that I was not alone, as many others like me, including baby boomers, we’re getting on with it and even “crushing it”. Ordinary Joe soaps, like me, not computer geeks or professional marketing gurus.

How were they doing this?

They signed up for and were following a step by step programme. This might sound like a sales pitch, and in a way it is, but the internet is vast and full of opportunities, all we need to do is to be open to it and not fear it. You can’t deny, it is here and it is the future.

We Human’s are wary of change, it’s in our history, any inventor of the past, like Galileo, was branded a heretic, and many were even put to death. I know we are not that bad now, but that fear has become ingrained in our psyche over millennia.

It’s all about learning

Affiliate marketing is a learning and it is a self-learning. The main things it is teaching me are patience, commitment, focus, and self-belief.

The more exposure I get on the internet, the more I am learning, mainly through trial and error, but I am beginning to see “the wood from the trees” and my initial overwhelm is subsiding. I used to think, that as the internet is moving so fast, you have to be equally as fast and put in 16 hour days just to keep up. That is only true if that’s your desire. The internet runs at whatever pace YOU want to work at it. Yes, plug-ins and websites need to be upgraded every so often, but in most cases, they tell you this themselves. It is foolproof.


SEO or search engine optimization is hard, but like everything else, it can be learned. The trick is to remain focused and not allow yourself to be distracted by either internal or external noise. You will hear testimonials from people who are getting leads and sales apps very quickly, that can be done if you are advertising on the social media site.

Affiliate Marketing isn’t a get rich quick scheme and believe me you will not get rich quick unless you are really lucky at first, but you will not be able to sustain that unless you really know what you are doing and have been marketing online for years.

Choose your Niche & Your strategy.

Niche image
Niche image

I won’t even attempt to try to explain this, but if you sign up for SFM, then they will do a much better job than me doing so. I have chosen the free to low-cost strategy – content blogging, as again I am not in a hurry and also I am not that well off financially. I am though investing my time in my business. What you chose is up to you

Do what you feel comfortable with?

I know I might be contradictive here, but each to his/her own. For many people just being on the internet is taking them far out of their comfort zones, I know it does me. When things don’t happen the way they should, i.e. setting up a website, then my stress levels shoot up and I am definitely out of my comfort zone. For some people that is nothing, everyone is different and it is best you don’t compare.

My one word of advice is DON’T be reckless 

Online Marketing is hard work, if you are not willing to put in the work, you will not see results, you also have to keep it sustainable and not give up at the first hurdle. It will test your resolve.

If you have a full-time job, don’t leave it until you are in a position to replace your income in a sustainable way for at least 6 concurrent months.

DON’T remortgage your house or spend your life savings, even when you feel you are 100% sure and can prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are onto a good thing, read the disclaimers.

DON’T spend all your spare time online, neglecting your family as this is a sure way of losing their support and they will grow to despise your business and you.

DO get a good night sleep every night, as you won’t function properly for very long, without it.

DO get all the help you can and don’t be afraid to ask. There are some fantastic online communities with years of experience under their belts. These are real people and not just automated answers generated by an autoresponder.  

Value sign
Giving Value First

DO Give first and get last. Marketing is about building a relationship and giving value. The last thing you should be thinking about is making money.

DO have a goal, both short term and long term. I still struggle with the long-term goals, as I don’t, at this time, see myself living the “Laptop Lifestyle”, sitting on a beach with my laptop. I have 2 kids at school and although I love holidays, I want to just, for now, supplement my income and take care of my family. When my kids are grown up and have fled the nest, then I will definitely pack my bags and move to a warmer country. So you could say my goals are a very long term, but I am okay with that and whatever you want to do or however you want to do it, that’s okay too.

For now, I want to be able to pay my bills, and have money left over for the odd treat and most definitely an annual Sun Holiday.

My Opinion Only

Dollar Bills
Dollar Bills

The above is only my (Dermot Mc Donough) opinion and not the opinion of digital bloggers, SFM, or anyone else. I am also learning as I go and this has been MY experience thus far, which I am sharing with you.

To Sum Up

Call to Action
Call to Action

Now Affiliate Marketing might not be for everyone, but my suggestion to you is to just watch the 7-day video series by the co-founders, Stuart & Jay, and decide from there. The video series is free, very interesting and will show you, at least, just what opportunities are available online. I’ll leave you to decide.

I wish you a happy day, Take Care.

SFM Logo
Six Figure Mentors
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Are you tired of just existing & want to get out there & live?

Man in bed
Man in bed

Are you tired of just existing & want to get out there & live?

Good Morning it’s Monday

When you woke up this morning, what was the first thing that you did?

A) Did you pull the duvet back over your head and dread the day/ week ahead!!


B) Did you jump out of bed, feeling great and sang “Oh what a beautiful Morning”!

Smiley Emoji
Smiley Emoji

If you answered B then well done and keep it up, (we will look at how further on) but I can guess that if you have read this far, you answered A.

How I started my day.

I used to hate Mondays, I would think of the long week ahead and the same old drudgery of the working week. Sound familiar?

Morning Dread
Morning Dread

That dreaded alarm clock, how dare it disturb my sleep, snooze button…….Oh my god we’ve slept in……up in a panic, get dressed,( in the dark in winter), get kids up and get them to get dressed into their school uniforms themselves and end up doing it for them because they’ve got their buttons wrong or some other minor disaster, like a lost tie or shoe. Lots of very sleepy grumpy heads snapping at each other and then everyone wants to use the toilet at the same time!!.

Then its downstairs for the breakfast routine and a similar scene again. I ask “What do you want for breakfast?”, I get a blank stare and no response. I must have the only kids in this planet who don’t like breakfast cereal and we have a press full of them?!?. We get through all that, all picture no sound or the odd snap at each other.

Out the door & the next phase.

Road Rage
Road Rage

We all pile into the car and off to wait for the school bus. It’s terrible to admit, but it is a relief to be by myself at last. At least the drive to work will be quiet…. NOT. Road rage kicks in and every other road user had absolutely no right to be on the road as they don’t know how to drive. Stress levels on the increase again.

I get to work in a bad mood and then have to face whatever shite is heading for me there today…. It is only 9:00 A.M….. The day has only started and probably won’t get any better. Guess what, like a self-defeating prophecy, it doesn’t.

Welcome to the day!!! I’m sure if you have a similar scene in your life, you agree that mornings can be hell and something not to be looked forward to.

Unfortunately, this morning routine becomes a habit and as much as it is despised, it continues, day in and day out. Now why is this, why do we continue to torture ourselves? Again, habit, blame, not taking responsibility, lethargy, or not giving a shit. It is human nature to wait for the other person or situation to change first before we do. It is how we’ve been conditioned.

Emotionally constipated
Emotionally constipated

The Morning though is the most important time of the day, as if you can start your day right, the rest will fall into place. Believe me, it works.

When you can answer B, there is Hope

Start Your Day With a Smile
Start Your Day With a Smile

I work a full time 40 hour week, but also have an Affiliate Marketing business. Since starting my business through Six Figure Mentors/ Digital Experts Academy  & the help of many online motivational gurus my whole routine has changed, as has my mindset, or Meta-story.  


I now get up at 5:30 A.M, “Are you nuts, I hear you say?”, Yes & with the help of Mel Robbins’ 5 Second Rule , I meditate first (I’ve added a link to a great meditation I use by Andy Dooley ). I then work for one hour on my online business and then twice a week I go for a jog. When the family eventually get up, I’m already into my day, and then I sing to them “Oh what a beautiful morning”

It sounds Like Hard Work

Initially yes, and like any change we make, it does take getting used to or into the routine, but believe me I feel far better for it as I feel more in control of my day afterward and, yes there are still the odd morning quarrels, but they don’t leave me grumpy for the rest of the day. Am I not tired? Well to counteract this early start, I also go to bed an hour earlier or at least try to. I can get by on 6 hours sleep anyway, something I was conditioned to by having kids.  

Its Not the Mountain
Its Not the Mountain

Now if you are still with me on this blog, you might be saying, what has this got to do with the title “Are you tired of just existing & want to get out there & live”? It has everything to do with it, as for anything in life, you have to start somewhere and the morning is the most logical time to start anything new. The trick is to be consistent and keep doing it, as doing anything once off never works. Once I established this new routine, I did start to see a positive change in my thinking, my moods and even my behavior and my belief that things are possible if you put your attention on it does happen.

Be open to opportunities 

SFM Logo
Six Figure Mentors

Now For me to break the habit, I saw an add on YouTube and signed up for the SFM/DEA programme. Now I’m usually the one who would be the first to hit the skip button as fast as I could, but the Pain of my existence outweighed the fear of the unknown internet. I pushed the button and I guess the rest is history. It is still early days for me yet but it is all about “Learn, Do, Teach” and as my journey progresses, I will be passing on what I learn to you, so keep an eye out for future posts

Call to Action
Call to Action

To Sum Up

Now Affiliate Marketing might not be for everyone, but my suggestion to you is to just watch the 7-day video series by the co-founders, Stuart & Jay, and decide from there. The video series is free, very interesting and will show you, at least, just what opportunities are available online. I’ll leave you to decide.

I wish you a happy day and a Monday to look forward to, Take Care.

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Unconditional Value in Affiliate Marketing Entrepreneurship

Dream, Goals, Action


Hi there it’s Dermot again, hope you are all well today. If you are contemplating becoming an entrepreneur and are embarking on affiliate marketing or thinking about doing so, just stop a minute and have a thought about why you are thinking about entrepreneurship and affiliate marketing, what are your expectations, how will you meet these expectations and are they realistic?

Affiliate marketing image
Affiliate marketing image

Why Affiliate Marketing

Let me elaborate on this. I knew absolutely NOTHING about affiliate marketing or even marketing online, I was totally ignorant. I saw a flashy add-onYouTube, signed up and went from there. Now normally I would always hit the “skip” button when ads came on, but this time I watched it to the end and took action.

My rationale was that it was January (the month of change) and I wanted to change my career and this looked like the sure thing or a great option at least.

Instant Money

Dollar Bills
Dollar Bills

Instant money, is what I thought. Now yes I was sold by the add, isn’t that what adds are supposed to do anyway, ”The Laptop Lifestyle” & my own greed.

 Once I got down to the nitty gritty and started to learn about affiliate marketing, and marketing online in general, I did start to realise that it isn’t instant easy money and despite all the disclaimers, which I chose not to look at, it is HARD work.

I am a person who has very limited internet and even computer skills


Home Simpson Indecisive
Home Simpson Indecisive

I saw that I had 2 options:

 1) I could go down the advertising route, which is risky, very expensive, but can produce results fast, or

2) The Low cost route, which is much slower and requires a lot more time and work, and takes a lot longer to get results or generate leads.

Now at the time I had never heard of a blog, or video blog, or syndication, but I was soon to start learning how to, if I wanted to succeed in affiliate marketing. I didn’t have the funds to go down the advertising route, nor at the time did I have the “guts”.

My previous experience in marketing was limited also, so I wasn’t confident enough to even try advertising.

Finding my Niche

Niche image
Niche image

No matter what route you take, paid or low cost you have to find your niche. Now I’m not going to go into detail on this as the folks in SFM are the experts and will explain it much better. Simply put, who would your target market be “Avatar’’ and what gives you passion in life or what are you passionate about. It took me a long time to find my niche, and I may not have the best niche to monetize on (generate leads), but my heart keeps brining me back to that niche.

Setting up websites and all that other technical stuff

Wordpress logo image
WordPress logo image

All I can say on this is that for me it’s a working progress through trial and error. Yes there are unlimited resources out there to help, but I find that when I start to follow resources, I get side tracked, overwhelmed and lost.

Everyone is different, but I tend to just try “Figure Shit Out”. It’s slow but I am getting there, I think!!.

If you are internet literate already, then you have a flying start. My suggestion to you is learn a bit more about the internet so you are able to navigate your way around it with more ease, maybe even enroll in a course.  I have noticed within the SFM Community, that the people who already have a lot of experience on line, do progress much faster. 

Do not compare yourself to them though, as that is just where they are at.

You will find in the SFM training modules, becoming an effective marketer does take a hell of a lot more than just internet knowledge.


SFM Logo
Six Figure Mentors

SFM is a state of the art training programme and they do have excellent easy to follow training modules. If I can follow them anyone can.

If you want to find out more about it, you will have to sign up and let the experts explain, it is free, initially.

Follow them module by module, don’t skip any and even if some of the training videos & webinars are very long, there is a reason for this, which you will only see if you stick to the programme.

What stood out for me is the humanistic side to online marketing.

Meta Story

Believe in yourself
You are enough

The first 2 modules work on your Meta Story. If you are familiar with the “Law Of Attraction”, then you should have some idea of what this is.

Everyone is different so it will have a different meaning to each of us.

I have been following self development gurus for years now, but I did find that following the SFM programme, really helped me look at myself from the inside out and strangely the gurus I had been following now for years did make more sense to me.

You have to allow yourself to have an open mind though and be prepared to challenge yourself.

If you feel you are not there now, just remember life is and always will be a working progress or journey.

Always remember it’s all about you, not others. This is Your journey, it’s not a race or competition.

It’s not about the product, it’s about the person

Adding Value

Every day we are bombarded with advertising telling us to buy, buy, buy.

We have become immune to it, it’s background noise. Do this, next time you are watching TV and the Adds come on, try to remember what they were about afterwards. I bet you can’t. They do though work on you at a subconscious level.

When you are on You Tube and you want to watch something, isn’t it really annoying when the Add comes on and you just can’t wait for the countdown to end to press skip. I know I still do.

I must be the most difficult person to sell to, but I still spend online, but I buy what I need and want, don’t we all? Why is this?

We buy emotionally.

Listen to your heart
Listen to your heart

Giving value will engage people at an emotional level

We have come to live in a very impersonal world, even with the medium of the internet and global networking. I don’t even know my neighbors!!. A generation ago we would have been living in each others’ houses.

The personal touch has all but vanished in society. I sit in my living room, as I’m doing so now, working on my laptop, my wife and kids are on their tablets or games, the TV is on and no one is talking.

We are social creatures by nature and do NEED social interaction to survive, We all need each other.

If you want to market, then you have to generate leads, to do that, you have to give value, to give value you have to build rapport. You need to be liked and trusted. It’s not about telling people what you think they need to hear, but build a relationship where they will like & trust you. Reach out emotionally, make them feel that you care and want to help. Ask yourself, what would make you feel good and feel valued, then copy that.

Patience & Consistency

Commitment image
Commitment image

The two things that SFM has challenged me on in life have been patience and consistency. I had neither, in any area of my life. I wanted it and I wanted it now & if that didn’t happen, then I gave up. This applied to exercise regimes, diets, studying, standing in ques, traffic jams……….

I have been with SFM since February 2018, and yes initially, as I’ve said before, I thought it was a get rich quick scheme.

Once I came to realise that it wasn’t and after I had purchased the training, I just had to accept that this is long term and has to be worked on consistently, every day & you have to make time to do so.

Why is this so for me, after giving up everything else?

Value, I invested in this, thus invested in myself, thus this has given me the incentive & motivation to continue and not give up.

My family think I’m nuts, working 2 – 4 hours every day for the past 7 months and have no tangible results yet (a sale), but look at Thomas Edison’s 10,000 attempts to create the light bulb. He never saw each attempt as a failure, but as a way not to do it the next time. It was a learning each time, until eventually he got it right.

I don’t allow myself to be disenchanted every day that I don’t get a lead, but more determined to keep at it and keep tweaking it until I eventually get it right.

A word of warning though, do balance your time and attention and DO NOT neglect other things in your life that are even more important, like your family.

Goal Setting

Goal Setting
Goal Setting

You need to set SMART Goals for yourself. Goals you feel that are achievable for you. I made the mistake initially of setting my goals too high ($1000 commission within the first 90 days) Now if you are doing paid advertising and really know what you are doing, then that can be done. I am not using paid advertising and I am learning as I am going, so it was far too high an expectation) A more realistic goal for me was to do a 90 Day video diary. Do daily goals, until they become routine or habit, like getting up early, exercising, meditating, an hour of online work, for example. Longer term goals are harder to measure, but it is still very good to have something to work towards – your dream. 

Online Support

I Love My Computer Friends
I Love My Computer Friends

SFM has a fantastic online Community, which supports and helps each other along the way.

This community is probably what has encouraged me to carry on when I felt like giving up at times.

Everyone in the community is in the same boat, trying to set up their own businesses and facing their own challenges and victories. It is great when we all share these with each other.

I was only new to it when I found out that my son had a possible heart condition and I needed to go private to get him seen quickly by a specialist. Now at the time the insurance would not cover the expenses. When I shared my story with my SFM group, they did a fund raiser for me. I was so touched by this, as people I hardly even knew where helping me. Fortunately my son was given the all clear after visiting the specialist consultant and we didn’t need further treatment. I didn’t need to use the funds, but still I was so moved at the love and compassion I felt.

My employer begrudgingly gave me the day off to take my son to see the consultant.

Sum Up

Call to Action
Call to Action

If you want to learn more then it’s best to listen to the experts. If you are skeptical, that’s okay, your allowed to, but do hear them out. My mentors’ Stuart & Jay, yes are business men & SFM is a business, but they do deep down have a huge passion and belief in what they do and do want to spread that passion and belief to everyone. Do yourself a favour and hear them out and then YOU decide.

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